Kimberly Miles is a recovering attorney, incidental humorist and aspiring freeloader. She obtained her law degree in 1991, immediately regretted it, and spent the next two decades trying to figure out how to return her degree in exchange for a law school loan pardon, while retaining the right to keep “Esquire” in her name (after all, it’s the only reason she became an attorney in the first place). She quit the practice of law three years ago and promises that she will soon let her employer know. Her professional writing includes hundreds of legal briefs, closing arguments and apologetic Post-It notes left in co-workers’ lunch bags after shamelessly pilfering their goodies to feed her pre-trial stress eating habit.
As for creative writing, she is an accomplished ex-boyfriend pleading letter writer and author of many wine-infused, un-posted Facebook rants on a variety of topics that, if posted, would swiftly and certainly result in mass unfriending by the majority of her Facebook “friends”, most of whom she does not really know in the first place.
She authored her first book at the age of five which, despite falling slightly short of making the 1969 New York Times Best-Seller list, was wildly popular among those directly responsible for her conception.
In her free time she enjoys sunsets, long drives to the beach and drafting humorous pieces for the merriment of herself and those who are likely to explode in laudatory laughter as a result of random indebtedness to her. She is married to a sports-addicted recliner spud with a prosthetic remote for a hand, whose only contribution to her writing career is endless hours of both unintentionally humorous and humorously unintentional material. Additionally, she is the proud mother of a sweet infant who morphed overnight into a snarly teenage girl who believes “Mom” is a three syllable word and who would never publicly admit to being loin fruit unless she was being tortured, in need of a ride to the mall, or claiming the former after being denied the latter.
Ms. Miles is currently attempting to start a humorous blog if only she can find the time to do so between bouts of helicopter parenting, diet avoidance and diversion of school loan payment funds for the procurement of cute shoes.