Bathing Suit Shopping Part Two: What Not To Dare

Before I headed to the mall for the annual sacrificing of my self-esteem, I consulted my trusted periodical, You’re Kidding Me, Right? If you haven’t heard of it, this is Cosmopolitan’s older sister magazine published specifically for the fortyish crowd. Only in this publication, fashion advice has succumbed to sternly issued warnings designed to keep … Continue reading Bathing Suit Shopping Part Two: What Not To Dare

And Now, We Interrupt This Work Day With….Yet Another Meeting

The following is a real phone conversation I had at work today. Snarky Senior Associate: “Hey, why aren’t you in the conference room? Me: “Umm, because I’m at my desk?” SSA: “You’re late for the meeting.” Me: “What meeting?” SSA: “The meeting Dave emailed us about.” Me: “I thought it was at 3:00!” SSA: “It … Continue reading And Now, We Interrupt This Work Day With….Yet Another Meeting

How To Speak Parent (From Pregnancy to Teens and everything ‘Tween)

img_4932Being a parent means having to develop new skill sets, from learning how to change a diaper in the wee hours of the morning to learning how to change your teen’s passwords so they can’t text in the wee hours of the morning. In order to enjoy every moment of the terrible twos to the terrifying teens, you must constantly update your vocabulary and expand your understanding of words and phrases. Failure to do so could result in bodily harm, missed opportunities for sincere discussion or worse – embarrassing yourself in front of your teen’s friends and becoming the subject of slander in social media venues. Which is fine, really – because you’ll never understand the acronyms or know how to use the social media to begin with so you’ll never know what they’re saying about you. And know by the time you do figure out how to use that form of media, it will already have become as obsolete as Facebands and Silly Book (or is it Silly Bands and Facebook? I can never remember.)  Continue reading “How To Speak Parent (From Pregnancy to Teens and everything ‘Tween)”

Fifty Shades of Gray

I’m a brunette by nature. I was born that way, and have remained so for most of my life. Well, except for that one dreadful summer, circa 1980, when I accidentally hit the Sun-in spray pump a few too many times in my quest for blonde highlights. I spun so fast around the color wheel … Continue reading Fifty Shades of Gray

That’s What Makes You Middle-Aged

Yesterday, famous boy band One Direction announced the release of their new album titled “Four”, named to commemorate the fact that this is their fourth album. When news of the upcoming release  was announced, teen girls across the globe were quoted as saying, “WhooooooooooOOOOoooooooooooooo!!!!!” While the dreamy members of One Direction have always appealed to a fan base … Continue reading That’s What Makes You Middle-Aged