Apple of My i

iphone
Bigger Than … just Bigger

Editor’s Note: This article was originally posted in September 2016

Ahh, Autumn. The September sun is plentiful, the air is crisp and the leaves are just starting to fall. There is no better time to go Apple picking – and I’m not talking about the forbidden fruit that grows on trees. No, I am talking about the kind that’s sold in large, sterile white retail stores in small, sterile white boxes.

Tomorrow, Apple will release the long-awaited newest version of its popular smartphone, the iPhone 6. Millions of people around the globe started getting in line weeks ago in order to buy the coveted phone when it goes on sale September 19, because apparently on September 20 anyone without an iPhone 6 will violently implode. Or at least that’s what my teenager tells me.

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Bathing Suit Shopping Part Two: What Not To Dare

Before I headed to the mall for the annual sacrificing of my self-esteem, I consulted my trusted periodical, You’re Kidding Me, Right? If yo don’t know, this is Cosmopolitan’s older sister magazine published specifically for the fortyish crowd. Only in this publication, fashion advice has succumbed to sternly issued warnings designed to keep readers from … Continue reading Bathing Suit Shopping Part Two: What Not To Dare

And Now, We Interrupt This Work Day With….Yet Another Meeting

The following is a real phone conversation I had at work today. Snarky Senior Associate: “Hey, why aren’t you in the conference room? Me: “Umm, because I’m at my desk?” SSA: “You’re late for the meeting.” Me: “What meeting?” SSA: “The meeting Dave emailed us about.” Me: “I thought it was at 3:00!” SSA: “It … Continue reading And Now, We Interrupt This Work Day With….Yet Another Meeting

How To Speak Parent (From Pregnancy to Teens and everything ‘Tween)

img_4932Being a parent means having to develop new skill sets, from learning how to change a diaper in the wee hours of the morning to learning how to change your teen’s passwords so they can’t text in the wee hours of the morning. In order to enjoy every moment of the terrible twos to the terrifying teens, you must constantly update your vocabulary and expand your understanding of words and phrases. Failure to do so could result in bodily harm, missed opportunities for sincere discussion or worse – embarrassing yourself in front of your teen’s friends and becoming the subject of slander in social media venues. Which is fine, really – because you’ll never understand the acronyms or know how to use the social media to begin with so you’ll never know what they’re saying about you. And know by the time you do figure out how to use that form of media, it will already have become as obsolete as Facebands and Silly Book (or is it Silly Bands and Facebook? I can never remember.)  Continue reading “How To Speak Parent (From Pregnancy to Teens and everything ‘Tween)”

Fifty Shades of Gray

I’m a brunette by nature. I was born that way, and have remained so for most of my life. Well, except for that one dreadful summer, circa 1980, when I accidentally hit the Sun-in spray pump a few too many times in my quest for blonde highlights. I spun so fast around the color wheel … Continue reading Fifty Shades of Gray